Hey all, happy 13th to you. Let’s get right into it. I am super pleased to see so much light being shone in the last year or so on self-care and what it really means to actually make sure YOUR needs are getting met – who else could possibly be better at meeting them than yourself? Because you
are the only one up inside that mind palace of yours, and we all know that place can get scary if you don’t kinda get in there once in awhile and take care of it. Everyone is busy with work, school, partners, social activities, kids, furry kids, etc – who the fuck has time to actually do anything for themselves, anyway? Well, you do, for starters. Or it would greatly benefit you if you so choose! In fact, I would posit a theory (my latest fave expression, apparently) that being a self-professed witch is 100%
about self-care. Let’s get a few things out on the kitchen table right now:
1. Self-care is anything BUT selfish. The next time you are thinking “mrrrr, I don’t have time to take a few minutes to meditate” or “boo, I have to do ALL THESE OTHER THINGS before I go to bed even though I’m really tired,” STOP. Think about it for just a sec – if you don’t recharge and refuel with meditation, sleep, nutritious food, regular (even luxurious!) bathing, and basically giving yourself some time to connect with your body, spirit, and mind, how will you be able to give of yourself to anyone else? Listen to Mama Blackbird: I used to really hate leaving dishes in the sink for the next day…guess what. If those dishes or that laundry have to wait another day because I need extra sleep or some time on my yoga mat or a walk outside, then so be it. Doing the dishes (at least on some particular days) is not the thing that is going to help me feel nurtured. My need to do those dishes is a discussion for another day: Need for Control. Control does NOT equal self-care! You will get better at recognizing the difference between the two with practice. I’m not always great at it. Like everything, it’s practice, not perfection.
2. Your self-care needs can change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. One minute it might be that you really need to be outside. The next, it might be that you need to drink some water. We can’t all be just constantly getting up to go outside every time the urge strikes though – if you start to tune into what your needs are, you can plan for a little self-care break during the day, or even a few times a day.
3. Being a witch is a constant practice of self-care. We are constantly trying to improve our intuition, right? So what better way to do that then to turn that high-powered lens inward? To me, that’s where intuition begins! However, a lot of times we are trying to improve our intuition to be able to see aspects or situations around us better. What I am learning is that the more I tune into what I need and want in order to take care of my own needs, the more clarity I seem to gain about external situations. Make sense? I know, sometimes it’s too deep even for me to really get. Enigmas wrapped in mysteries, y’all.
So in order to get you started, here’s a little spell I worked up to help myself with self-care – I hope you try it and it puts you on a path to really listening to your own needs before even considering the many other demands the outside world puts on you. As a witch, to see yourself fully and truly begins with acceptance, trust, and love. I think you’ll see when you start to really take care of you first, you start existing on a different level – and it will no doubt radiate to those around you.
Blackbird’s Spell for Self-Care
Gather the following ingredients (or improvise the shit outta this!)
Lotion (make it one that you really like the fragrance)
Glass of water (or really any liquid you like to drink – I like water for symbolism)
Blanket, sheet or veil (something you can put over your head, the comfier the better)
Post-it note or paper
Pen (or whatever your preferred writing utensil is)
Sit however is most comfortable to you. I prefer on the floor, legs out in a V or cross-legged, but whatever works for you. Chair is ok too.
Light the candle, and try to be in a space that is low-light and quiet.
Light the incense. (Don’t worry. If you don’t have time for the entire stick or cone to burn down, throw some water on that bitch when you are done)
Take a little of your lotion and put it on your hands and then rub your fingertips into the base of your neck, giving yourself a little neck massage.
Take the glass of water, raise it high up over the candle, and chant:
“I honor myself with water and flame
I honor myself and my true name”
You can also ad lib here. Say whatever you feel the 5-year old you needs to hear to feel comforted, supported, and safe.
Pull the blanket or veil or sheet up over your head and keep thinking of what the Teeny Witch inside you needs to hear. Give Teeny Witch a voice. Give Teeny Witch a hug with all the mind-hugs you can muster. Teeny Witch, after all, is you.
After you feel like you have finished your encounter, let your head covering fall (mind the candle, of course,) and write an impression, phrase, or saying on your paper or note that seems like a message shared between yourself and your Teeny Witch. Maybe you said something to comfort. Maybe there was a message for you. The more open you are, the better chances are for you to receive. And it might take more than this first time, and that is A-okay. If you have had a life of taking care of others first, this won’t necessarily come naturally.
Once you have written your message down, post it somewhere that you can look at it throughout the coming weeks, until you feel like it might benefit you to work this introspective, self-care magic again.
Thank Teeny you.
Thank your instruments of magic.
Thank your cat for hanging out.
Then Thank yourself again.
Blessings and love –